I don't
know about you, but at times I find myself confused and lost in my own
thoughts. I feel as though I am forsaken. I cry out to God, "hear me, o
Lord!”, “Please hear me”. There seems be no voice of response, other than the
deafening noises of anguish echoing in the depths of my heart and my mind.
There seems to be no comfort other than knowing that I am not the only one who
has felt this way. I find my comfort in Psalm 69 as the author pours out his
heart to God.
Psalm 69:16-18
Answer me, LORD, out of the goodness of your love; in your great
mercy turn to me.
Do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for I
am in trouble.
Come near and rescue me; deliver me because of my foes.
“God will
you deliver me?”, “Are you even hearing me?”, “I need you!!!” The loud noises
in my heart become even louder. I have to stop myself. I have to quiet the
noises. I have to find peace. But, how? Then I think about Jesus. I think about
the CROSS. I think about why He died. Suddenly the noises are quiet. I can
hear! It is His voice. The same gentle voice of the savior that called His
disciples one by one by saying, “Follow Me”. There He is, telling me to follow
Him, but here I am sitting and wondering why He has forsaken me.
Deliverance sounds simple and easy, but it is not! He had to die for me! He had to be tortured and crucified. “Follow me”, He says. But, where? How? “……….
Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross
and follow me." (Matthew 16:24)
Now, I
understand it again. How could I ever forget? I am reminded again just like the psalmist.
Psalm 69:29
But as for me, afflicted and in pain may your salvation, God,
protect me.
Psalm 121:1-2
I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
I am not
alone nor forsaken. I never was. I was just looking down, not up to Him! I praise Him, for being my deliverance indeed. What would I
do without the hope of salvation?
